PSRWritingDailyProbe

Peter's Articles for The Daily Probe

I'm a dilettante. I never stay interested in one thing long enough to get good at it. <p>

I started losing interest in fanfics, and then I subscribed to the Daily Probe, a mailing list that sends out fake news reports. I assume it's designed to emulate The Onion. It's put out by The Top Five List. Feel free to forward them around, but please include the copyright bit at the top -- all of us who write for them would really appreciate it. If you like these articles, you might want to subscribe to the Probe (after all, it's free!), or check out their back issues.

Anyway, here's some of what I've written for them:

• 12/29/00: CHRISTMAS FACES FEDERAL ANTITRUST SUIT
• 1/15/01: FLORIDA BANNED FROM 2004 ELECTION
• 1/25/01: CHILD TRAPPED IN WELL MET WITH RAGING INDIFFERENCE
• 1/29/01: PAID ADVERTISEMENT FOR WESTALKFORYOU.COM
• 2/2/01: BUSH SENDS CHEESE ASSORTMENT TO HOUSE DEMOCRATS
• 2/8/01: FORD INKS DEAL FOR "WORST MOVIE EVER"
• 2/22/01: BUSH SHOWS TROUBLING SIGNS OF "INTELLECTUAL CURIOSITY"
• 3/1/01: NOW-SOBER LUCAS REALIZES "EPISODE I" SUCKS
• 4/9/01: A DAILY PROBE SPECIAL REPORT: GOING DOWN ON CHINA
• 4/16/01: YANNI PROMISES TO "BUST A CAP IN ZAMFIR'S ASS"
• 4/26/01: MICROSOFT HIRES LINUX MASCOT TO REPLACE "CLIPPY"
• 6/19/01: COMEDIANS TO DUBYA: "BE FUNNIER!"
• 8/9/01: PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY ACCUSED OF SATANISM
• 8/30/01: BOOK REVIEW: "CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE GONZO JOURNALIST'S SOUL"

Here are the ones that, for whatever reason, weren't published in the Probe. Maybe they were offensive, maybe they sucked, perhaps both :)...

• 4/9/01: GIULIANI RECEIVES FINE ART AWARD
• 4/21/01: CELEBRITIES THAT ARE ACTUALLY THE SAME PERSON: ODDS UPDATES
• 4/30/01: BILLBOARD COMPANY DROPS GOD (one of my faves)
• 7/20/01: WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? A DAILY PROBE PERSONALITY TEST

Footnotes