Out of Bounds 2003:

Five Angry Dentists

Revision Notes

Revised Script

What Needs Fixing, and How Badly Does It Need to Be Fixed?

The Peter sez:

This one looks pretty solid. If I were to change anything, I'd make Steve more distinct from Bud in the lines that he has. (Steve's lines and Bud's lines read pretty much the same.)

A technical concern: where are we going to get a dental drill?

Bob's edits look fine. I might still want to make Steve & Bud more distinct on the page.


The Bob sez:

We can make a dental drill out of 6' of flexible conduit and a cordless screwdriver, or just use a hand drill. Or use parts of a draftsman's lamp (what are the lamps called on the adjustable spring-loaded arms?) The hand drill may be more obvious, though a Dremel tool may be more convincing. Somebody's going you yell Look out - he's got a drill! anyway.

We could foreshadow the power outage at the end with some unreliable lighting at the front. Damned lighning storms This also allows us to punctuate the piece with ominous thunder and start with the cliched "It was a dark and stormy night..."

This times out at 3:30, maybe longer with thunderclaps and the staring contest.

My biggest concern is the motivation for Steve to change his vote, though I think a small edit can fix it. See http://www.cynistar.net/pwiki/index.php/OobFiveAngryDentistsRevisedScript?action=diff

Use an electric hand drill. It's funnier and makes its own sound effects.

The second read-through times out at 3:45 with thunderclaps, extended V/O, and dialogue edits.

Grab Bag of Material to Add

Footnotes