Kicked Out of the Hall of Justice

Not sure about format on this, but the idea would be to present a series or group of superheroes that were kicked out of the Hall of Justice.

Reasons for Dismissal

• Excessive product endorsement (Bob: or self-promotion?)
• Lame super-powers (examples?)
• Antisocial behavior
• Tardiness
• Constant inebriation
• Improper use of facilities (something mundane like photocopier, phone, fax machine, or internet connection, or something goofy like giant artificial intelligence computer, invisible jet, or Batmobile)
• Dating someone from the Legion of Doom (She's Crafty)
• Uses membership to get freebies from local businesses
• Lied on the job application
• Failed the drug test, MMPI
• Alternative lifestyle
• PR liability: hero or super-power "isn't appropriate for the image the Hall of Justice is trying to project"
• Cruel and unusual powers
• Dress code violations
• Inappropriate moonlighting job

Superheroes Who Were Thrown Out, and Why

• Lame: The Anchovy (or maybe Manchovy)
• Drunk: Brew-ha-ha; also, dating Barfly, drunk villianess who keeps puking in the Hall of Justice; other heroes report their stuff is missing.
• Prosletyzing on company time: The Zealot
• Inappropriate image: Gaybasher (only beats up gay supervillians; "His costume was pink; I thought he was gay.")
• Cruel: The Swirly and sidekick Wedgie
• Excessive product endorsement: Utah Department of Tourism Man and Visit Salt Lake City Lad
• Lifestyle: Bratman and Bunboy (who aren't really gay; they don't understand what the deal is)
• Excessive perks: Freebie, Methuselah ("Look, I don't care if you are 600 years old, if you want the seniors discount at Shoney's, you have to do it in your secret identity")
• How did you ever get into this organization: Giant Inflatable Cellular Phone
• Inappropriate use of company vehicles: Doublewide, totalled the Duallie of Justice, keeps borrowing the Batmobile without asking, scratching it, leaving Whataburger wrappers out of the back seat and trunk full of MGD empties, leaving cigarette burns on the upholstery, putting Titty Bingo stickers on bumper and Calvin pissing on Legion of Doom decal on back window, fucked up the tape deck
• Cheated on entrance exam: The Valedictorian
• Dress code: The Tease (her outfits are really distracting to the guys and they offend Wonder Woman and Batgirl.) Everyone thinks she's sleeping with Womanizer at the LoD
• Lifestyle & image: Trouser Pilot
• Constant spitting grosses everyone out: Captain Copenhagen and Loogie
• Lame: The Martinizer
• Drunk: Church Key, Beer Goggles, The Chugger, Beer Bong, Commander Kegger, and Body Shot
• Complaints from activists: The Trapper and The Whaler
• Filled up Computiac with downloaded porn: Websurfer
• Sexual harassment: Chick Magnet
• Gross, just gross: The Bladder, Dingleberry
• Gross, union grievances: The Scab
• Failed drug test: The Whippet, Munchie, Dude
• Suspended for anti-social behavior: Carnivore, for picking fights with the LoD's Vegenazi ("We all know she has issues but there's absolutely no reason you have to use your Veal Ray on her. And that incident with the beef tongue was totally uncalled-for...")
• Lame: The Goth; just sits around and mopes, listening to The Cure

• PR problems: Punslinger, suspended for inappropriately bad humor during mayor's award ceremony; puns distract fellow heroes in combat.

  • This name might have been used in a friend-of-a-friend's cartoon; might have to 'adjust' word to avoid direct plagiarism....
• Insists on Monopolizing Every Damn Meeting With His Long-Winded Speeches: The Toastmaster
• Because We Really Really Would Like to Listen to Something Else Once in a While: Captain Devo

• Doesn't Really Help Out: Captain Buddha

  • Also doens't get along with his sidekick, The Carnivore
• I know it's your costume but put some damn pants on: Tighty Whitey

• Is That Really a Superpower?:

  • Aikido Man
  • Feng Shui Master
  • Origami King

Format

• Call the meeting to order
• Announce series of fired superheroes
• No button -- somehow jaunt to next scene

This'll be a lone arbiter (The Ombudsman) standing at a podium, addressing the group of superheroes. It works as a monologue, with occasional off-stage mic support (call for files, coffee to Errand Boy.)

Script 1

???

Footnotes

1 Really, until we start banging out actual scripts for these, it's just a bunch of wikibabble.