Haunted Trails 2001 Commentary

Note: Unless specifically noted, all opinions are mine and mine alone. Also, I will do my best not to resort to ad hominem (personal) attacks or to 'name names' without good reason. The point is to change behaviors and avoid repeating the same mistakes, not to pick on individuals.Backstory

I intentionally limited my participation in HT this year for a few reasons. My job situation is tenuous, and keeping my mortgage paid is more important than just about anything right now. I had a twenty-page paper for a professional conference due October first. Most of all, I knew that if I limited my involvement I was more likely to have fun and meet all my commitments. I had fun and only missed one night guiding ostensibly while trying to preserve my health so I think I was mostly successful.

For those of you who don't know me from past years, I started out as a sound and light tech back in 1997 (the vampire year with Evan as the incomparable Drachir Toirrag and the first appearance of St. Dunstan.) Since then, I was a guide in 1998, 2000, and 2001, and a station actor in 1999. I was Assistant Director ('co-Mojo') with Jay Michaels in 1999. I worked from construction to cleanup on HT 1997 though 1999. Feeling a bit burned out, I did a little construction last year and concentrated on guiding. This year I was absent until just before run nights due to prior committments and personal issues as will be explained later. If I seem unfairly critical of this year's event due to my limited involvement, please put that aside for a moment, and understand that I've had roles of varying importance in five of the last six years' performances. I believe I speak from a broad base of experience, ymmv1?, etc.

But enough about me...

Observations

First the good...

We seemed to be well-staffed this year. We had enough guides and station actors. With the exception of the bat room for the first few nights, there weren't any uncomfortably unfinished or unstaffed stations (cf. the 'Death' room in 1999)

Timing was generally good this year. Despite the miserable stackups on Friends & Family night, and coffin tech 'issues' on Friday #1, timing worked itself out. Note that we do F&F night to work out these types of problems.

All the roles I saw were compelling and well-played. Nary a dull moment once we debugged our timing.

The construction was rugged. The elevator had some problems but no show-stoppers and certainly nothing out of the ordinary, given its relative complexity and effectiveness. Definitely a cool effect.

Sound was well done. Someone should teach Jason to use a microphone - we have the technology to make him loud and scary without him destroying his vocal chords. Jason should pay attention to people who show him magic box that let him speak normal but make big noise. Ug.

With rare exception, guides were great especially all the people new this year. Please come back next year.

Catering and food service was well done - abundant, warm, and tasty. Thanks Joe!...

and the somewhat-less-good...

Set Dressing, Lighting, and Attention to Detail

If we spent a tenth of the time on set decoration, lighting, and detail that we do on construction, we could do a $30 or $35 show. I hate the joke about Scary Black Plastic. I think maybe the first few years of HT we did a fair job of it but the last 2-3 years we've really had some poorly decorated sets. I think it really detracts from the overall performance. Rubber snakes are not scary in bright light. They become much scarier with a few real snakes thrown in. Squeaky rats are never scary. Puppets can be scary as long as guests don't have time to identify them as puppets. Even then, they're only useful as boo scares. If we can't dress a set properly, we have no business spending a lot of time on heavy construction for it. Minimalism is key - unless you've got a kickass effect, the focus MUST be on the actor. Good acting first, good makeup second, a well-dressed set third. Construction is safe and easy, it's easy to measure. Set and lighting design are a bit trickier. We absolutely must get better at this and pass the skill on to others. Ten bucks and a case of Shiner says that we could do a better job with only greasepaint, lighting, and a little audio.

The construction was very solid compared to years past but in some ways I don't think it was used very effectively. Specifically:

Price

(Note: I've subsequently thrashed this out on the mailing list, maybe to the point that I made the Baby Jesus cry.)

The price was too high. This was not a $40 show. Don't get me wrong - we had great actors, techs, guides, and makeup. This is NOT a comment on anyone's performance. Given the economy, length of the show, number of stations, and set dressing, I just cannot justify a $40 ticket price, especially since we ditched those mercenary cutthroat bastards at Star Tickets.

I know it's a benefit event but that is NOT how it's marketed. We sell it as a show and as such it should have a price point around that of a reasonable show at (say) the Paramount, between $20 and $30. I have friends that would've come out had the event been priced a few dollars lower; I've heard the same story from other people. I'm curious about our sellout rate; my gut feel is that we sold out maybe on Saturday #2 (our last night.) I know people want to cut out early if possible (myself included), but it's kind of a waste of construction and organizational time if we don't sell out all the run nights.

On a very personal level, I can't justify my performance at $40. I want to give people their money's worth and I can't see that they're getting it, even considering that it's a benefit for a good cause. I think it's great that we defray a large amount of Wild Basin's annual operating expenses, but it troubles me when I feel there's such a disparity between cost and value. The whole event takes on a whorish feel and it makes me very uncomfortable.

Finally, I know that this is a benefit event and that we do some damage to the trail every year in addition to roughly two months of denial-of-use of the main building and short loop trail. I understand there's a revenue threshold below which it's not worth Wild Basin's time to allow us to put on this event. If it's not feasible to drop the ticket price or give people a much improved show next year with our dedicated, amateur staff while operating under the (quite reasonable) restrictions at the Basin, we might consider a different venue (say, the skeleton of the Intel building downtown...)

Weapons

I like guns. I even own one. It's unloaded with a trigger lock under my bed. Bob Quinlan even let me shoot his Taurus Raging Bull, a monstrous, scoped hand-cannon. Bob drove the shuttle van a few years ago and was a Man In Black after the finale' in 1999. We took a handgun safety class together a few years ago. So please humor me when I say I'm completely freaked out when someone points a real gun at me or people near me. Even an unloaded gun. It goes against all my training with guns and what I understand to be proper gun safety and respect for human life. Casually waving a real or realistic gun in someone's face is a great way to invoke a autonomic response from some guests to forcibly disarm the gun-waver and possibly to thrash her soundly to burn off the subsequent burst of adrenaline. Trust me, if you want to freak people out, leave the gun at home and study Keith Ewing. He could scare the crap out of you with a rubber chicken using only tone of voice and eye contact.

We've had trouble with blades in years past, so this is an issue that bears repeating every year. Please, peace-bind it or leave it home.

Parking

Allocation of parking spots seemed petty. If you show up early to work, you should get a spot. If you have a critical job (makeup, construction, one who actually tracks and manages people), you should get a spot. If we know the buses stop running at some point, then big vehicles with a lot of seating should get preference over (say) a Yugo. Frankly, I couldn't give a damn if you're the President, the Pope, or Tom Landry - unless you have a good reason for parking in the lot, you should be at VTel, rank be damned. I found the whole situation extremely offensive especially in the way it was presented (and no, not because I had to move my van.) Call me a whiner if you want; I was tempted to walk out the first run night. I don't naturally associate rank with performance

I'm probably off-base with this, but that's my impression of parking allocation this year.

Old Boy Network

I'm sorry, there's no tactful way to say this. I will never be good enough because I never worked on Britannia Manor. Period. I feel this attitude every year and it's all I can do not to tell people to fuck off, take my ball and go home. I'm a lot more tolerant and positive of late but I believed the attitude would be worse this year than in previous years so I stayed home lest Anything Unpleasant Happen.

As far as I can tell, Britannia Manor was an amazing event, what, with a six-figure budget, big fire, tesla coils, acting coaches, full-frontal nudity - the whole nine yards. By comparison, Haunted Trails is low budget; community theatre up against Broadway. We do a good show, but we can't compete for so many reasons. That's cool. HT & BM are different events, created with different goals and operated under different constraints.

I don't get this attitude from everyone and I have to say that regardless, I appreciate the experience that comes with working on an event of that scale and working on HT for so long. But it's aggravating as all hell to put the time and effort into this event and still get that same goddamn attitude every year. I try to pay my dues every year because all that matters to me is how well this show is going to come off. What I did over the last four years makes for great memories but doesn't do jack for me now. And yeah, maybe in some sense I didn't do jack this year. There may be a reason for that.

And at this point, I am an old timer, at least in the HT universe.

Blame Culture

It's a sign of ill breeding to upbraid people in public. Maybe it's necessary in the military (doubtful), maybe it's prevalent in poorly-run companies, but it has absolutely no place in a volunteer organization. It does nothing but alienate and embarrass all those who witness it and makes the already difficult task of staffing even harder. So please, for the sake of future events, don't do it. If you feel powerless to stop yourself, for God's sake, delegate!

Ass-Chewing

While I'm on the subject, upbraiding people in private isn't really appropriate either, at least not in a volunteer organization. I know it's unavoidable but even with my limited involvement this year I heard about too goddamn much of it. And I actually do think about who's telling me the story and the actors involved. It takes years for someone to become a solid HT volunteer; that can all be blown away by one thoughtless ass-chewing. This event is supposed to be fun. When the participants cease to be amused, they'll walk. And if enough people (or the right ones) walk, you'll have a fun time trying to staff up for next year.

The Movie Crew

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm feeling a little pimped out. If I'm on film and I have more than two lines, do I get my SAG card? Seriously though, the whole movie shoot thing could have been explained a bit better because I'm left wondering if we've done a lot of craft labor and acting for free for a different show. Maybe I missed the big explanation online or earlier in the year but like I said, I'm feeling a little pimped out.

Charles

Why didn't Charles get to go through in a Group #0 or #-1? What's with that?

Recommendations

TBA

One day, I'll actually find a fix for all these problems instead of just uselessly kvetching.

Footnotes

1? ymmv: Your Mileage May Vary

Please direct flames to BobApthorpe