GolfingApocalypse

Golfing Apocalypse.

Concept

Two commentators in the booth describe a televised golf tournament. Apocalyptic hijinks ensue.

Why this skit is funny

Combining the deadened patter of golf announcers with the wild events of the apocalypse. Simply beating the joke of 'people insisting on acting ordinary under extraordinary circumstances.'

We could also get some mileage out of just seeing how creatively and concisely we can describe the Apocalypse.

The problem is, I know, come to think of it, that I've heard a skit along the lines of "The Apocalypse happening during a morning-DJ's shift." Dammit. I wish I could find that source so I could figure out some things to do differently and thus feel better about the whole exercise in accidental plagiarism.

Possible Presentation

This would work well as a pure-sound sketch. Either we pointlessly darken the room for it during No Shame, or we do it during a scene change during the SketchComedyShow, or have it playing as TV- or radio audio during the SketchComedyShow.

Concepts

Make sure the announcers are lethargic, monotonous, but not dull.

Distinguish the two announcers -- "one doing play-by-play, one doing color" works pretty well for the "Olympic" sketches.

Again use the slow build -- the first one should slip by the audience, ideally.

Still, I don't know if that build is enough for a 3-minute sketch. There should be a tilt midway, or it's just 'soup then soup then soup.'

Some kind of button to finish off.

Fragments

Ned: Looks like Tiger Woods has been... possessed by Satan. Red eyes. Looks like... fangs. And... he's bitten the head off a spectator. Randy?
Randy: This is the sort of aggressive play we've seen more and more of. It's easy to see this throwing Duval off of his game.

Ned: The souls of the Righteous are now erupting from the ground, and... that blocked his drive. Looks like Tiger's ball is wedged in the crepuscular aura of a chartered accountant, and it's ascending heavenward. And Tiger's not happy. What's the ruling on that, Randy?
Randy: Act of God. One of the few cases in tournament play where the player gets a Mulligan.

Ned: And it looks like reality itself is breaking down as time itself folds inwards and annihilates itself, and the world collapses at the horizon of the mind of God -- any final word for this evening, Randy?
Randy: How 'bout that sand wedge for a birdie on the ninth, Ned?
Ned: My thoughts exactly.