Skit Structure

Similar structure to Ways to Screw with Telemarketers.

Repeat this format:

  1. VO gives "<Celebrity Name>... as a pimp."
  2. Lights up on 'celebrity' (do an impression) in a car seat
  3. A few lines
  4. Lights go down

Again, all due credit to Bill Plympton.

Why is this skit funny?

Because we're showing up a celebrity's characteristic personality traits in absurd circumstances, where the celebrity's personality is ill-suited and uncharacteristic to the job at hand. Ideally, we make the celebrity seem hidebound in his idiosyncrasies; Shatner stays Shatner, even when you'd logically expect some kind of personality adjustment. Again, ideally, this connects to a larger idea of human beings in general being stuck as themselves when some amount of personal plasticity would be better.

Also, we can play off of the low production value (and idea value) of the skit. Build up how proud we are to present the latest celebrity as pimp. Use an orotund VO, with a canned orchestral background. Show that we know that the skit is the height of pointless silliness, and let the audience laugh with us at ourselves.

(A buildup to the skit also gives the audience predictable 'structure' material during which they build anticipation -- audiences seem to lap that up.)

What do we want it to accomplish?

This is definitely a quick laugh while somebody sets up the next scene. This is one of those short-short-short formats that lends itself well to filler material in a larger sketch show.

Possible celebrities:

They Might Be Giants
John and John pull up in a convertible (see SingingToCarStereo) and start a song.
William Shatner
We'd have to introduce him as W. S. (Bob: The ho is blue and has antennae)
An Inanimate Carbon-Steel Rod
Change this enough so that Groening can't sue. Lights go up on inanimate carbon-steel rod; lights go down on inanimate carbon-steel rod.
Kool-Aid!
Let's get sued! Oh, yeahh....!!!
Dubya
Have him invent words, get frustrated and threaten to call his Dad.
Gilbert
This would have to play off of the "show's desire" to cut off Gilbert as soon as possible. As the lights go down: "Wait! I'm not finished!"
Hugh Grant
Full blinky-blinky stuttering mode. He's practically apologizing for ordering his ho into the car. (Bob: I see Hugh Grant more as a john, but I guess so does everyone else including the LAPD...)
Woody Allen
Have it devolve into a discussion of his fear of rejection. Ho becomes pyschotherapist. (Bob: I see the ho getting out of the car and Woody following, walking alongside the ho, hands in pockets or gesticulating symmetrically, shoulders tight in or slumped, in his characteristic neurotic Manhattan manner.) Also, this one should begin with the opening clarinet line of Rhapsody in Blue.
God
(Nobody in the car; done as VO) "Thou shalt get in the car, bizznitch!"
Buddha
(in thick Indian accent) Remember, life is suffering, but this suffering can be alleviated temporarily for a mere $50. And Shaniqua, please avoid any further suffering by getting in the car now.
Martha Stewart
Gives ho advice on dress and accessorizing, little things she can do to make the whole ho/john experience more stylish, comfortable, and homey. Maybe just mix up the sketch with her appearing as a ho (see WhatWouldMarthaDo)